Health and Your Child: Tips to Become an Active Family

Keeping a regular exercise routine or engaging in physical activities has many benefits for your mental health and physical health. I previously wrote a blog post on Improving Your Health Status. Given this time of year many strive to change their lifestyle and get healthier. For parents, changing your routine or adding exercise may be more challenging. One way to decrease the challenge is to make time for the entire family to be active.

Here are some ideas to help your family be active together.

Make Time

• Identify free times. Keep track of your daily activities for one week. Pick two 30-minute time slots you could use for family activity time.
• Add physical activity to your daily routine. For example, walk or ride your bike to work or a friend's house, walk the dog with your children, exercise while you watch TV, or park farther away from your destination.
• Try to walk, jog, or swim during your lunch hour, or take fitness breaks instead of coffee breaks. Try doing something active after dinner with your family, or on weekends.
• Check out activities requiring little time. Try walking, jogging, or stair climbing.

Bring Others Into It

• Ask friends and family to support your efforts.
• Invite them to be active with you.
• Set up a party or other social event with activities that get people moving, like dancing or having a jump rope contest.
• Exercise with friends.
• Play with your kids or ask them to join you for an exercise video or fitness game.
• Develop new friendships with physically active people. Join a group, such as the YMCA or a hiking club.

Energize Yourself

• Plan to be active at times in the day or week when you feel you have a lot of energy.
• Convince yourself that if you give it a chance, physical activity will increase your energy level—then try it.

Stay Motivated

• Plan ahead. Make physical activity a regular part of your family's schedule. Write it on a family activity calendar.
• Join an exercise group or class. Sign your children up for community sports teams or lessons.
• Pick activities requiring no new skills, such as walking or climbing stairs.
• Exercise with friends who are at the same skill level as you are. Create opportunities for your children to be active with friends.

Build New Skills

• Find a friend who can teach you new skills.
• Take a class to develop new skills and enroll your children in classes too, such as swimming, dancing, or tennis.

Use Available Resources

• Select activities that don't need costly sports gear, such as walking, jogging, jumping rope, or doing push-ups.
• Identify cheap, local resources in your area, such as programs through your community center, park or recreation group, or worksite.

Make the Most of All Conditions

• Develop a set of activities for you and your family that are always available regardless of weather, such as indoor cycling, indoor swimming, stair climbing, rope skipping, mall walking, dancing, and active games that you can play indoors.

Copyright 2014 Erlanger A. Turner, Ph.D. 

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Source:

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/obesity/wecan/get-active/activity-plan.htm 

Potty Training: What should you know? [video]

Many parents struggle with potty training. Difficulties may arise due to behavior issues or the child not being developmentally ready to start the process. I previously provided some basic tips in a post on my Psychology Today blog.

In this post, Dr. Anglim (Omaha Children’s Hospital & Medical Center) discusses mastering potty training. She will review everything from readiness to dealing with night time potty training.

Featured presenter:
Katie Anglim, M.D., FAAP

Children's Hosptial & Medical Center
Omaha, Nebraska

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To Spank or Not to Spank: What the Research Supports

Last month, I had the opportunity to attend the American Psychological Association (APA) convention in Honolulu. As usual, I am re-energized after attending the sessions and learning about new perspectives on science and psychological practice. While attending a talk on spanking and children, it made me think back to all the conversations that I’ve had with parents in my practice around the use of corporal punishment (which includes domestic, school, and judicial). During the talk, Dr. Shawna Lee (assistant professor at University of Michigan) and her colleagues presented data on the frequency of parents that use spanking as a parenting strategy and highlighted the effects of spanking on childhood outcomes (e.g., aggression and compliance). Surprisingly, a high percentage of parents use spanking despite if not being an effective long-term strategy to change behavior.

As a child psychologist, I often discuss the impacts of spanking with parents. First, spanking tends to increase aggressive behavior in children. Secondly, the research shows that spanking is less effective to increase compliance than positive reinforcement. The pros and cons of spanking have been discussed for decades yet many still see it as a viable parenting strategy. Many times when I bring this up with parents they respond, "I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine". But what does the research support? 

During the APA symposium, Dr. Lee, stated that “spanking has the iatrogenic effect of increasing the very child behaviors it is often trying to reduce”.  In a recent study published in Development Psychology (Lee, S. J., Altschul, I., & Gershoff, E. T., 2013), the authors found that maternal spanking  at age 1 was associated with higher levels of child aggression at age 3; and continues to be associated with aggression by age 5. Furthermore, the study found that maternal warmth does not serve as a protective factor against child behavior problems. 

Being someone who is interested in early intervention to prevent more severe behavior difficulties I felt armed with new research findings that I could use in my own life and clinical practice. Overall, the research does not support the use of spanking as an effective parenting strategy and shows that it has significant negative outcomes for children. Currently 31 countries (not including the United States) have recognized the detrimental effects of spanking and have banned the use of corporal punishment in the home. Yet, the U.S. does not have a national policy against spanking. Furthermore, only a small percentage of states ban the use of corporal punishment in school. What are your thoughts on spanking and corporal punishment?

Copyright 2013 Erlanger A. Turner, Ph.D. 

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Note: A version of this was submitted to the Richmond Times Dispatch. 

Understanding Adolescent Self-Harm Behavior

Self-injury, also called self-harm, is the act of deliberately harming your own body, such as cutting or burning yourself. It's typically not meant as a suicide attempt. Rather, self-injury is an unhealthy way to cope with emotional pain, intense anger and frustration. Self-harm behaviors may also be linked to a variety of mental disorders, such as depression, eating disorders and borderline personality disorder. 

The following video presents on adolescent self-harm behaviors.

Featured presenters:

Reo W. Newring, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Paige Lembeck, M.A.

Graduate Student

Children's Hosptial & Medical Center

Omaha, Nebraska

Tips for Effective Co-Parenting

Many parents raise children together while living apart. This may be the result of co-parenting after a divorce or because the parents never married. When you have a child with someone, even after the relationship ends, your parenting relationship remains. You both remain parents and are responsibile for your child/children. This person is now your child’s other parent – someone your child loves, looks up to, and will likely take after in some ways – not your spouse or partner. Although you are no longer a couple, you are now a co-parent. To make the process easier, avoid calling the other parent your “ex” and refer to them as “the father or mother of your children”.

Below are some additional suggestions to have an effective co-parenting relationship:

·         Don’t project your feelings onto the child or assume the child has the same feelings as you towards the other parent.

o   Accept your own feelings and try to understand your child’s feelings.

o   Remember it is okay to ask the child why they feel a certain way.

·         Avoid sharing your personal feelings or loss related to the divorce.

o   With the end of the marriage comes the end of that sharing.

o   Separate your feelings from decisions and interactions about your child.

·         “Fake it, til you make it”

o   Establish boundaries to help keep your feelings under control.

o   It is important to have some emotional distancing or disengagement

o   Imagine the other parent is your business partner. You have to be polite, have business like conversations, and work together to raise your child.

Preparing for the “Business Meeting”

In order to improve communication with the other parent, it is encouraged that you emotionally detach (and put your feelings aside) when interacting with each other. Respect the common ground you share that you both love your children and want the nest for them. The following suggestions or offered to help the “business of raising your children”.

• Have regular meetings to share important information
• Be polite, respectful, and business-like
• Keep the conversation focused on the children
• Avoid having the child as the “go-between” and carry messages
• Be prepared and structure conversations
•  Relay information about: emergencies, appointments, school, your child’s successes, or information about social activities. 

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Copyright 2013 Erlanger A. Turner, Ph.D.



Reference:

The Quick Guide to Co-Parenting After Divorce: Three steps to your children’s healthy adjustment by Lisa Gabardi, Ph.D. 

Tips on Coping with Tragedy: In the wake of the Boston Marathon Explosion

On yesterday, we experienced another tragedy in Boston when an explosion occurred near the finish line at the Boston Marathon. According to the New York Times, almost 23,000 runners participated in the race and approximately three-quarters of the runners had crossed the finish line prior to the bomb exploding. President Obama made a statement following the explosion and stated “I'm supremely confident that Bostonians will pull together, take care of each other, and move forward as one proud city. And as they do, the American people will be with them every single step of the way.”

In the wake of another tragedy, below are some resources to help children and their families cope and process the event.

Evidence-Based Early Psychological Intervention for Victims/Survivors of Mass Violence  

Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters: What Rescue Workers Can Do

What Parents Can Do To Help Children

            Spanish version: Que Pueden Hacer los Padres

Tips of talking with children: A guide for teachers and parents

A Guide for Managing Stress in Crisis Response

  

Copyright 2013 Erlanger A. Turner, Ph.D.

Follow me on twitter @DrEarlTurner

References:

Image from the Boston Globe